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Monday, May 6, 2013

Day 1241

Today starts the 34th year of my existence on Earth. I have always had special place in my heart for my birthdays. Most of them have been spent very well and with the people i love the most.I have had parties where there were 40-50 of us and there were close private dinner with just 1-2 people. Irrespective, i remember all my birthdays very well and i feel the most happiest on this particular day. This year, its not the case. With the events that have transpired in the last 2-3 weeks, i am extremely hurt and very low. I am in a position in my life where i am, metaphorically speaking, playing part of a lawyer. A party has committed a "Social Crime" of sorts. The judges have announced the party as guilty and have announced a "Death Sentence". This was announced by the high court. Being a lawyer, i approached the Supreme court who upheld the sentence. Now the only way out is a presidential pardon. And that, as of now, is looking extremely unlikely. In all of this, since i am representing the defendant, i stand to loose the case. And since i am also emotionally involved, its another personal setback of my life. I admit that i am not in a position to defend the accused because of the "Social Crime" they committed. And yet again, my personal life goes for a toss as inversely propotional to my professional life which is going very good. I was always told that have faith in God, everything will be ok. This too shall pass. Well, i do not, at any point deny the existence of God as i used to do 10 odd years back. I always believe that there is an entity called God. I also know that God Listens and helps people. Its just that, I am not one of them. Atleast not in my personal life. I tried taking a 1 day break and going out with my best friend for a weekend getaway so i can recharge my drained batteries and it worked for a while. But then again, its back to the grind. I should have been happily married by now and i should have been preparing for my honeymoon trip and a great vacation at that too. But once again, my personal life has failed big time. I want to enjoy this day and i am sincerely hoping it goes well. But what about tomorrow and days after that?
Will my personal issue be resolved for once and for all ? Will people have a larger forgiving heart and look at options of bridging gaps instead of breaking the broken bridges ?
I have an option to rebel and do exactly the opposite of what is being expected, but then it will be a loose-loose situation for all parties involved. I am just hoping that maybe there is some divine intervention and some clarity on the situation.
What a birthday indeed.

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