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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 840

My guess is today is one of the most important day of my life. The court granted me divorce. I never took the initiative and to be honest, i always wanted things to work between me and her. Which married life, if you put under a microscope, doesnt have its flaws. All of them. I havent seen a single married couple who havent gone through trying times in a relationship. I will not say that everything was her fault or everything was my fault. There were situations and to be honest, i failed to live up to the expectation of her. I could say some things about her as well. But the fact of the matter is that a love marriage has ended up in a divorce. We knew each other since 2003, we got married in 2006. Things didnt work out in the last quarter of 2009 and today it was a divorce. I can only say that, given a choice,i would always want her back and would do anything possible if she even says yes now. The court order notwithstanding. A court can grant a divorce to  couple. But no court in the world can ever say no to the same couple wanting to try working on the marriage again. I am of a belief, that a marriage is NOT meant to be broken. Specially a love marriage vis a vis a traditional Arranged Indian Marriage. I can say that the last 2 to 2 and a half years have been very very very painful for me, emotionally speaking. I have tried escape routes like travelling, spending more than usual time at work, light hearted movies, spirituality etc but none of them have worked so well as to heal a broken heart.
In this process, i lost my mum and now the person i loved the most. Someone who i believed would have stayed with me through thick and thin and someone who would i have grown old with. I went with my best friend to the court who came to give me moral support and she came with her sister and father.
By afternoon it was done and within a month or so, we would get the decree so each one of us can pursue our future.
That the day has been extremely painful for me would be an understatement.
If anyone concerned is reading this and if anyone truly cares about my feeling, you will know what i seek.
If anyone can help me seek it, i would be eternally be greatful to that person.
My love for her is never going to fade.
I do not have anything else to write. 


  1. "Keep the undercurrent of happiness, the secret river of joy, flowing beneath the sands of your various thoughts and the rocky soil of your hard trials."

    (Paramahansa Yogananda)

  2. Milind we al face deep disappointments in life a lo of time for the wrong reason for no fault of ours.True greatness lies in the way one rises after falling.I am with you when you say this is a massive tragedy and take yr time to recover and also vent out ALL the inbuilt negative frustrations you have in the next few months and start afresh.I wl assure you at the end of the day life if fair,you do have ups and downs but at the end of the day God and life both are fair.Relax and good luck.