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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 839

Yesterday has been exactly 1 year(according to the Gregorian calendar) since mum left us. The year has gone very fast. Lots of things have happened since then. Lots of events have taken place. When mum was around, and during dad's death anniversary, we would never do any traditional things like having a puja or being super upset etc. Instead, we would visit dad's favorite restaurant and have some good food and only remember the good times we spent. Yesterday, i felt very alone because, for all practical purposes, there was no one around. I took a day off from work because i was not at the best of moods and was emotionally down. I woke up in the morning, had my shower and went to a temple(that my family often goes) and offered prayers. In the afternoon, visited my best friend's place and just chatted for sometime. It was kind of him to spare time today for me, despite the fact that he could have chose not to do it. We went to Inorbit in the evening, mainly because i wanted to check out the Samsung Note Phone. There was a good deal available, but decided to wait for a few days because i was not in the best of frames to buy anything expensive.
After that we visited someone. We went to the house of the person i love(The one person who i have been dedicating all these poems) in the anticipation that maybe things would work out between the 2 of us. I am sure by now many of you readers would have understood what i am referring to. But the person wasnt there. I spoke to her mum, and she was kind enough to listen and even she wanted things to work out. We left after a while and my friend called her up hoping she would grant me an audience. But when someone is super determined not to make things work out, what can one do ?
I was at an emotional low through out the night. And when i am super low, i can not get proper sleep, my head starts paining and i am not in the best of health(mentally speaking).
Yes, when something doesnt work out, it is never the fault of one person. Yes, i have made mistakes, but none of them were knowingly. The circumstances were such that i only did what i believed was proper at that point of time. I have never cheated on anyone. I have never meant to hurt anyone. I have never ever physically abused anyone. I guess what was really wrong on my part was my lack of action on certain issues.
And all i ask is another chance. Its very easy to break up, but it takes some character to stand by and work out things. This could be a relationship or a professional work environment.
Today is another day for me. I will go to work and its BAU. But deep down i will always have a regret that things have gone to this stage on my personal front. Tomorrow, again, is a day i have taken off for a very important legal matter. I will surely try and update the blog.
Today, i do not have any poems or odes for my loved one. Not because of anything else but because i am very low. I am not in the best of frames to right anything. I am only hoping things work out.

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