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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Day 819

With everyone i know who is under the weather because of the fluctuating weather in the city, it was only a matter of time before i would fall victim to it. So on Monday morning, after waking up really late, i was in no mood to go to work. I was feeling extremely low, had a sore throat and i have a dirty feeling that i was running a temperature. I managed to pull myself through the day, except during dinner time. One of my friend's in office saw me at, a not so good health, immediately reported it to the manager in charge for the shift. That was kind of him. The manager saw my state and asked me to go home and take an early leave. I didnt. There is a reason. Since over last 5 years, i have never got myself to call up work and say, I cant come as i am not feeling well. I just can not get myself to do that. The last time i did that, and i remember it very well, was in January 2007 when i called up my reporting manager that i have fever. And that same day, i found out, i had high blood pressure as well. That was the last time i had fever. Since then, there have been just 2 instances when i was not well. Fortunately on both those occasions, the fever didnt last more than a day. And on both the occasions,   i was at work. So anyways, i came home and took it easy. I also got some medicine stocks for home. Turns out that we didnt have any pain killers, paracetamols, inhalers or even cough syrups.
So i took a crocin and went to sleep. Tuesday, i was feeling much better but somehow that feeling of being low is still there. Today, my best friend called up in the morning. It was nice hearing from him, considering that  a few days ago he was angry at me. But these small differences has never come in our way of a great friendship. The reason he had called was not the most pleasant of news. But somehow, i wasnt expecting a major miracle. Though i really wish there would be one.

I have so many things in my heart i need to express to the person i love. The person knows that. However there is no acknowledgement. I do wish of a miracle and wish everything was as it was in, lets say 2004 or even 2006.
It didnt have to go this way, it still doesnt have to go this way. Things can and will work out. This time even more so than the last time.



Why are we thus divided having kissed?
Why are we yet two bodies and not one?
Why have our separate spirits leave to run
Two sundered paths of thought? what laws resist
The perfect bond whereof we dimly wist?
Love, incomplete, seems ever but begun,
And yearns to consummation never won,
Love's purpose always nearly gained,--and missed.
As mournful waves with desolate delight
That moaning kiss the same sands night by night
In changeless hunger, and are not appeased:
So I, who famish at possession's goal,
Must kiss and kiss, yet kisses ne'er console
Love's over-burdened heart that is not eased.


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