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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Day 805

I have survived. With the depression, sudden climatic change (and a bad one at that with mercury nearly reaching 40 degrees in the Celsius), the head spinning and near death feeling, it was terrible. But i made it. Getting less sleep and working for 12 hours with no proper lunch took a toll on me. Thankfully pending work at office has been taken care of, despite a colleague not coming to work for 2 weeks. So thats one chip off my shoulders. I managed to see a couple of movies during this week. Carnage and Moneyball. And after a long time, last evening, my mood was slightly elevated, which remained for most parts of the day. For whatever reason, i hope it stays that way. The last thing i want to be is, depressed. Of course with certain events that have unfolded in the last 2-3 years, my mood and feelings were subjected to certain unwanted changes. But slowly and steadily there are some much wanted changes happening as well.
Yes, there will be certain amount of hurt which will remain. Certain amount of feeling of wanting that someone special, certain amount of, "I wish i did this or i wish i had done that.", but by taking each day as it comes, i will find a way out of that as well.
I will not waste much time writing as i need to sleep and wake up for a very long day tomorrow.
And for the person i love (And i hope that person is reading this, i can only hope)...


I saw her across the room
A vision of beauty to the beholder
I was struck, instantly
By her loveliness, by her elegance
The way she held herself
I was spellbound by the image
I was physically altered by her
Was this love at first sight?
Or mere infatuation
She was really lovely
And I doubtless felt something
What I saw was a rare beauty
A precious thing
Like a work of art
Treasured on a gallery wall
A painting seen from a distance
But what I felt wasn’t love
Not from the first sight of her
Desire yes, feelings of passion also yes
Want and need certainly
But real depth of love no
This comes later, after closer study
Examining the canvas
Every nuance, each brushstroke
Form, colours, composition, perspectives
Seeing beneath the beautiful fa├žade
To find beneath the painted layers
To where true beauty resides
Only after this patient study
Can you find true depth of feeling
And claim to be in love

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