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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Day 612

Another week filled with Legal work, paper work, hectic travelling, insomnia and emotions. A couple of my very close friends(well...make that 3) know what happened on 10th of August. Obviously not a very good time emotionally. But such is life. There are times in your life when certain people mean the world to you. You view life as You and that person versus the rest of the world. There are times in your life when you develop certain abhor against some people. You think, i would do anything but have an acquaintance with that person. Then there is a crash. Suddenly the person you detest becomes the person you will need to develop close acquaintance and the person who was the world to you becomes just another random unknown person. Life throws you so many challenges and so many obstacles. At times you feel, why me ? What the fuck can go more wrong or low than this ? To be honest, i dont have any answers to these questions. In my journey of life, i am seeking answers. I fall, i learn, i get up, i move, i fall and the cycle continues. I have lost my parents relatively early in life so whatever lessons i have learnt, its purely through self experience. I am sure, spiritually, my folks are always with me, but i would have been the most happiest person if i still had a few more years with them. Maybe things would have been different. And hopefully for the good. My struggle on the personal front still continues. But I sincerely hope everything goes well. Work has been a savior for me in the last few weeks. The more i stay at home, the more i feel like staying back at work, My reporting manager has been the most kind to me by giving me relatively challenging work and in a way its helped me develop my analytical skills. Its also helped me focus on work and not on things which bother me on personal front. So Wednesday i was up since 7:30 AM and had lots of stuff to complete on a legal front and then it was work and i was tired by the time i came home at 11 PM. Of course, 2 and a half men on TV have proved to be extremely therapeutic. I woke up at around 9:30 AM on Thursday morning and after the usual morning stuff, i chatted with a friend and hit sacks again by 10 AM. With last day's events, i was mentally exhausted and slept till 1 PM. Work was routine. Friday was extremely hectic as well. Had to go to my ex office in Malad for some paper work completion and had to wait 1 and a half hours. Thankfully caught up with a few of my ex office colleagues so wasnt bored to death. Then had to travel back another 40 odd kms in bumper to bumper traffic to the Bombay High Court to complete certain mum's legal work. Didnt have time for lunch and had to survive on the famous Mumbai Wada Pav. Thankfully work was not that stressful. Came back home by 11 and had a shower and crashed to bed. Woke up today morning for a nice raksha bandhan. Had Sneha coming over to tie rakhi., In the afternoon, took Purav out for a spin and shopped for Meghna's gift and took Junior to crosswords where he freaked out looking at the colourful books and toys. Then came home and slept for an hour and in the evening, went out with Scrooge to see Rise of The Planet of Apes. Underrated movie and very enjoyable. Came home and then took off to Hotel Kalpana at Worli where the fat guy came and we had a hearty dinner, a couple of drinks each and lots of spiritual talk. So all in all, a day well spend. Of course it would have been awesome if it would have been with my sweet heart, but i guess life has something else in store for me.

I will call it a day now. I am sure the next few days will be very busy and very very hectic and emotional. But i will take each day as it comes. As i keep saying, its all hope against hope and not calling it over till its over.

And for my love...for my sweet heart...for my angel...for my everything....

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly today,
Were to change by tomorrow, and fleet in my arms,
Like fairy-gifts fading away,
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will,
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.

It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear
That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear;
No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close,
As the sunflower turns on her god, when he sets,
The same look which she turned when he rose.

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