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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Day 591 - begins

With the last couple of weeks, when i was, and probably am, still not at the best of my healths, its becoming extremely cumbersome to get myself to wake up and go to work. I keep yawning throughout the day and if the work is monotonous, then it becomes even more irritating. Of course, the things happening on the personal front are not helping it get over. So i try to make the best out of whatever situation i have in my hand at work. Work like a bloody machine. When i work, its only me and my work and no one else. And voila, i give fairly decent output. The most complex of queries are solved fast. Some queries which, i know have the right answers, i still ask my reporting manager...and they are bang on target. Difficult work ? Whats that ? I say, you have any challenge at work(Except Sales), bring it on. Someone may be wondering, what kind of work i do ? Well, due to certain confidentiality agreement, i cant say much. What i can say, is that we maintain and analyze over 12 million different financial securities worldwide. Our core task is to ensure that the data has at least 95% accuracy rate. And that takes a lot of analytical skills. On a personal front, with the meds that i am taking, instead of helping me get used to a more normal lifestyle, i still end up sleeping late and getting relatively early. And still having energy(despite the yawns) to get through the day. Maybe i need to be more regular to the gym and maybe i need to deal with certain inner issues which have been bothering me for months now.
At this stage, i am only taking one day at a time. Besides a trip to Europe, i have not planned anything for the future. Dealing with things on a day to day basis is the only way out in a situation like mine.
At this time, one often find people giving you all kind of unwarranted advice. Well for starters, you are not in my shoes. You do not know how it feels. So dont give me any advice. Just stay put. If i ask, then you can speak. Else, shut the fuck up. My well wishers and close friends, you know its not intended for you and you also know who this is intended for.
Now to movies. Happened to see Ridley Scott's Blade runner. Finally. After years. A critically acclaimed but a box office disaster. I am a fan of Ridley Scott films and found Alien, Black Hawk Down, American Gangster, Body of Lies and even Matchstick Men as classics. But BR is overhyped. It was boring. Generally, Harrison Ford movies are always good, but this is one movie which disappointed me.
Well, so much for that.
Today, at work, it was good fun. Considering that after quite a few weeks, i have got a saturday off, means that it was time for a celebration. After some grueling work, we had a pizza party at office. Most of us saved our tea break so that we could take an extended dinner break.
It was a big celebration. And needless to say that post dinner, the work efficiency was at an all time low. But this happens, just once a month. So if any of my bosses are reading this,...remember....Boss bhi kabhi kisi ka employee tha....
And after work, went to one of my uncle's place to get some of mum's paperwork.
And now thankfully over 80% of the paperwork is done. However, the remaining 20% is going to be the most challenging one and hopefully it will go through as seamlessly as the 80% had.

And last, for my love.....I still love you....always have...always will be....
You cant take whats in my heart,,,,not with my consent,,,not never..not ever..



It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love, the other win;
And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows, let it suffice,
What we behold is censured by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

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