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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Day 575 - Afternoon

And continuing from my previous blog..As i kept saying that it was a very tough week, mentally speaking. I often wonder, when will this mental ordeal end ? If this is a test by divine powers, then its going on for too long. My heartfelt wish would be, that the test gets over, and the results are in favour of what I want. I only hope, its not wishful thinking. In between all of this, i was thinking, with a few of my close friends who have been with me through all of this. Why did they do that? It was elementary. All of them, have been going through a crisis or have gone through a crisis. Although the dynamics of the crisis differ from what i am going through, but the magnitude of the crisis remains the same. And all of them, never had a support group and had to or have to fight it on their own. And all of them had, at one point, said that the prime reason for being with me, was to ensure that, as a friend and well wisher, i should not be alone and face the ordeals they have. So once again, i can only offer thanks and promise that i will surely pay this forward. I have been asked, whether all of this, is a sign of depression (Clinical or otherwise). I say, whether it is or it is not, is that something which is affecting you ? You think i have a problem ? Well, suppose i do, then what exactly are you doing about it ? If you do not wish to solve the issue or help me solve the issue, dont make any statements. Shut your fucking trap. Dont, ever say, i see that you have a so-and-so problem or i see that this is what is wrong with you. Come up with solutions and not lame statements. Last night caught up with 2 of my ol' school friends. Went to Marine Plaza and spoke about the good ol' days. One of the friends, is someone who will be leaving back for USA today. It was great catching up with him after nearly a decade. And how so many of us have changed and really, how everything has changed. It only seemed like yesterday when we were in School and the first and the last real rockstars of school. And how all of us were the most care free people around and now after nearly 2 decades, everything is exactly anti-thesis of what it was then. Well, i guess, such is life.
At this stage, i do not know what life has in store for me. All i know, is that i will be taking each day as it comes. I can not predict anything neither can i plan for anything. If i need to find my happiness on a day to day basis and keep it, i need to take it each day as it comes.
And to end...

A poem for my loved one...


Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng.

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,
Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,
Even as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

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