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Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 574 -- Afternoon

Its been a mentally exhausting week. I have still kept myself distant from many people and am still off mobile phone and facebook. I thought it would be good if i should update my blog, to let people(if anyone cared) know that i am alive. Its just that this transition period is something i need to deal with and with something i find comfort. After office, on Monday, i did hang around with a couple of old school friends for an hour. It was decided there would be a mini reunuion next night, but with the things going on in my personal space, it was not easy for me to come. I have always got this feeling, that i get super depressed when i am at home. No matter how much i exhaust myself throughout the day, i cant get a good 8-9 hours sleep that is required. The thoughts keep coming and i just dont get sleep. Its as if, someone has injected toxic fluids in my body, and its reaching my brain and i am slowly turning in to a zombie. And with certain family members, hell bent, on invading my personal space, its equivalent of adding fuel to fire. Increasing intensity of exercising in the Gym isnt helping as well. I was not sure what needs to be done now. I was having a conversation with a close friend recently. One thing we discussed, what is the most difficult thing to do in today's world ? Its not earning money, commuting, exercising, getting work done, having issues sorted out..None of those. The most important thing and the most difficult thing in the world is to find happiness. As it is, its so difficult to pursue happiness. And when one does find it, despite the travesties, and then when someone takes it away, you feel dejected. You feel depressed. And finding and keeping happiness, thus, is such a difficult thing. I saw 3 movies this week. Double Dhamaal (Just about ok), Delhi Belly(Overhyped) and Bbudhah hoga tera baap(Not bad and finally Vintage Amitabh). In between this week, somehow, my Rakhi Sis, Meghna, managed to get in touch with me, despite having my phone off, and expressed her concerns about certain recent events of my life. We met last evening for a movie and a dinner and was very kind of her to lend an ear. So many times in life, we dont get any help when we are going through a personal crisis. We shouldnt be, even expecting, any help because all of us are going through some personal crisis or another. But what would, sort of, be an aide, would be to have someone give you a listening ear. That someone could be a friend, relative or maybe a professional counselor. I am thankful, that during my personal crisis, i always had people who could fill in that shoes. People who gave me unconditional support in all the decisions i make. Most importantly, people who didnt judge me or my decisions. I use this medium to thank all of them.......

to be contd....

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