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Friday, June 24, 2011

day 564

I was definitely not in the best of moods when i woke up on Thursday morning. With all the happenings, and the fact that i am again turning in to an insomniac,  is not doing any good for my health. So i decided, after many days, i decided to hit the gym. I, consciously, decided to increase the intensity(in terms of the number of minutes that i do cardio-vascular exercises) and it kind-of helped me increase the adrenaline flow. Headed to work after lunch and the day was excellent. I gave my best ever output in terms of analysis done on a daily basis. Earlier i used to get fried doing 60-70 records per day. I did nearly 115 records. If i didnt get stuck on a couple of real complicated ones, i would have done 120. Felt proud of myself that day. In the night, i was watching this movie on DVD - Rails and Ties. Interesting movie directed by Clint Eastwood's daughter - Alison Eastwood. With all the perfect human emotions thrown in and a very nice movie. I couldnt get sleep though because even though i slept by around 2:30 AM, i woke up by 8:30 AM. I was constantly thinking and feeling extremely low. Low, not because i am tensed about anything that i dont want, may just happen. Low, because after years, i felt hurt. It hurt. It pained. It ached. In the last 8 odd years, my professional life has been very good. Whatever i couldnt accomplish professionally during the period of 1999-to mid 2003, i achieved tons and tons. I earnt the goodwill of so many people and with my limited educational qualifications, i got much more than what i deserved. No doubt i had to work my ass out, but i believe in divine intervention helping me as well. Somehow, it was never the case in personal life. If i could have been even half as good, my blog would have been extremely different. But it didnt. I am sure some of you would be having hints on what i am talking about and some of you would be clueless. For the clueless, in the due course of time, i will try and give a more clear picture.
Anyways, so i went to the gym and out of no where, 3 of my close friends called me. And 2 of them have never read my blog and 1 just read it occasionally. And i felt real good talking to them, because deep down, i didnt realise that i had so many people actually concerned about my well being. And the irony is that none of them are related to by blood. But all of them are related to me by spirit. A special thanks to my long distance friend from New Delhi who also messaged me out of the blues to show support in this time of emotional crisis. Work was good. Although i couldnt excel like i did yesterday, i still gave a good performance. 80 records. Not bad at all, considering i had a couple of such complicated queries that it took nearly 30 minutes to get it resolved.
Then i came home and here i am updating the blog. In a while i will hit the sacks. Tomorrow is another day.

And of course, how could i forget about that one poem for my sweetheart...

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

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