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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Day 563 -- Just Started....

Pissed Off...Hurt..Suicidal..Manic..Tired..Mind-Fucked....Whole lot of emotions that have been running since Tuesday evening. My best friends know what i mean. For the others, i will be brief. There are certain things that are happening in my life. Since they are happening in "MY" life, i am the best person to judge what needs to be done and what does NOT need to be done. I will be comfortable doing certain things which others wont and vice versa. You have an opinion, fine..I will take it on board. But dont go proactively doing things which does not concern you. No one can do that without MY permission. You are not making things any easy for me, so please...STAY THE FUCK OUT....I will be polite once, but dont test my patience and dont force me in to doing something which will ruin lives. And that goes out for everyone. Please remember that everyone in life has a problem. Its good to express your opinion to the person. Whether the person wants to listen to you or not listen to you, implement your suggestion or throw them in the bin, is NOT YOUR concern. Dont judge a person on basis of what that person does or does not do. Everyone has a different way of thinking. Everyone's problems are unique. How comfortable is the person dealing with the issues, thats his/her perspective and NOT YOURS.
If you are a well wisher, tell that person that i have so and so opinion about your stuff...but in the end...i will stay with whatever decision you make..and i will give you unconditional support...if you cant do that..then SHUT YOUR TRAP.
I am a reserved person. I do not want to do anything which would upset anyone. But if you provoke me, i am a human being and i will react.
Anyways, that sums up whatever i wanted to say about the personal aspect.

And look at the effects it had on my work.
Yesterday i was so angry that i just kept on working and gave one of my most efficient work. And today, i was so mind fucked, that even though i left for work on time, i was engaged in something unwarranted and i logged in late. And because i logged in a couple of minutes late, i will be marked half day instead of a full day. And due to a silly error from my end, i loose on half a day of leave unnecessarily.

Looks like i have learned an expensive lesson here.

I guess i will call it a night.

And for my loved one...

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Love you!!!!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Sometimes it's easier to have someone you can't love than to admit to love someone you can't have..