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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Day 530

The last 2 days have been the most taxing, again, mentally. Again, all of it is due to certain personal aspects. There are many ways of looking at it. The easy way would be, to be ruthless, arrogant like the other person and just go with the flow. One way would be to take each day as it comes. One way would be to be hurt and let your emotions out. And so on and so forth. But in the end, the only person who would ever know what is going through within you, is YOU. Not your friend. Not your parents. Not your partner. No one. No how. No way. If you ask me, what do i recollect from the last 2 days, all i have to say is that i only recollect going to office, doing my work and coming back. The other emotional aspects of the day, the more i think about it, the more hurt i get. Its been very kind for the handful of people who know about the situation, who have been with me and been extremely caring and touching. Thank you people. It means a lot to me. I know, i have not been my usual self and you have given me a patient ear and not judged me. This, will be indebted.
All i can say right now, that i have seen so many things in the last 32 years of my life, that maybe this aspect was the one i was yet to see. So its good that i am seeing and feeling it right now. Maybe it would have saved me getting a heart attack, had i seen it 10-15 years from now. I also know that every time life has put me in a challenging situation, i have come out of it. The results, notwithstanding. So i know, that somehow, life will pull me of this.
I will repeat, that yes i am hurt. Yes, i didnt expect this. Yes..because i am a human. Yes, because even i have feelings. But, i dont hold any animosity towards anyone. My love and respect for that individual will still be the same that i had when i first met that person.
My prayer would be that things turn back to what it was when things were exactly opposite of what it is right now.
Before i leave for the day, i wish to dedicate this poem / song (whatever you term) to the person i still love more than anyone.........

I don't have plans and schemes
And I don't have hopes and dreams
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
And I don't have fond desires
And I don't have happy hours
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
Happiness and I guess
I never.... will again
When you walked out on me
In walked ol' misery
And she's been here since then
I don't have love to share
And I don't have one who cares
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you...

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