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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 437

I slept relatively early last night. By 9:30 i was in slumberland. Woke up today at 4:30 AM and was, as usual, in no mood to go to work, but literally dragged my self. Such is life. Thankfully, today was a relatively quieter day and more calmer day at office. I, not only, managed to wind atleast 20 minutes before shift end time, i also managed to enjoy a good 1 hour break with a nice late breakfast / early lunch at Mcdonalds. Coming back home, i slept for a while in the train. It was a nice siesta. A rocking moving train makes you sleep like nothing or no one else. I was just surfing the net and reading the newspapers while i came home. And mum cooked a nice dinner of Bread-Cutlet sandwich filled with cheese and french mustard.
So a weekday well spend indeed.

I have uploaded a video from the Bryan Adams concert in My Day 435 blog in case anyone wants to watch it.

As i had mentioned in my previous blog, everyday, i will try to post an article for everyone to read. Now the article could be something from current affairs, sports, medicine, philosophy or just about any topic under the sun.
Today, i would like to present an interesting, article written by a much evolved soul.
Whether you want to believe in this philosophy or not, i leave it to you.
But, what i would want everyone to do, is to read it slowly, word by word and if possible, let me know your thoughts around it.

                                          The Honeymoon that Never Ends

LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.

And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate.

In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating not a relationship. And I am not saying that their love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love may last longer than your so-called relationship ever lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion.

If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said.

Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.

To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.

And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

And if you relate, and don't reduce it to a relationship, then the other will become a mirror to you. Exploring him, unawares you will be exploring yourself too. Getting deeper into the other, knowing his feelings, his thoughts, his deeper stirrings, you will be knowing your own deeper stirrings too. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and then love becomes a meditation. Relationship is ugly, relating is beautiful.

Hence I say relate. By saying relate, I mean remain continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her," or, "I have known him." At the most you can say, "I have tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery."

In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.

After a very very very interesting article, many would wonder if i would leave out the ode for my beloved....

Tonight as I lay bed
thoughts of you pop into my head
And I wish I had one wish
that it would not be you I miss.

But still I lay here in a daze
thinking of you in so many ways
thinking of our last day together
wishing that it could've been better

wishing I could've shown you how I feel
show you that what we had was real
for that one moment I would cherish forever
I wish that now we were together

I wish that it was you beside me
but still its you that sets me free
without you I feel soout of place
everywhere I look I see your face

I miss you so much, I want you here
please understand I need you dear
don't leave me here all alone
please pick me up and take me home
For I love you

But still I lay here in a daze
thinking of you in so many ways
thinking of our last day together
wishing that I could've made it better
Wishing that I could've shown you how I feel
show you that we had was real....

Good Night!!!


  1. Milind, that was an awesome article where did you find that?

  2. @ the bookish girl - courtesy subbu!!!

  3. @milind...I'll have to ask Subbu about that article it was a good and truthfully an enlightening read.