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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 424

The last couple of days have been the most trying. Personally and professionally. I have taken a certain decision in my life which is path breaking, in my own context, and from what i figure, it may not have gone well with a few people. However, if i have made that decision, i will be sticking by it. Since the last few months, i have been contemplating and frankly, i do not believe that anything or anyone will have an influence on this decision. You may be thinking, what the fuck am i talking about and why cant i be more clear ? Well, you will need a little more time. I promise, in less than 30 days, there will be some major change in my life. And i will update my blog. And to that anonymous person who has commented, whoever you you really know me, as you have claimed ? Because if you do, you would know the reason why i am writing my blog and you wouldn't have judged me on what i write or what i do. And if you have judged me, then how do you know me, really ?
Yes, Mr/Miss/Mrs Anon, i have a very dull life. Yes, i write odes / poems / quotes. But i am not a celebrity /politician / journalist etc to have a dynamic lifestyle everyday. My work is dynamic, not my lifestyle. And if your comment is out of sheer frustration of reading the same thing over and over again(Although i am writing it as differently as i can), i cant please everyone.
And if you are writing because you are genuinely concerned, for any of my issue, stop writing and call up :) It would help if you would talk. Atleast i would know who are you are.
I will call it a day now.
I will, still, end this day with a lovely poem for my love..wherever you are...i hope you read this.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Good night and god bless you all!!


  1. ok! so this is the same anonymous person. I will be a bit harsh but it is in good spirit. hope you take it that way.

    You are writing this blog coz you have temporarily or permanently lost your partner. I'm assuming it is because of your job is that of a call center employee with crazy working hours (night shifts). you might be feeling guilty now knowing that probably that person left you because she couldnt deal with that lifestyle.

    Let me summarize what i have said before and again in good spirit so that you change your ways.

    You work at a call center. I am not trying to put you down or try to say that working in a call center is the worse job but its clearly not for you. there are some people who thrive on it and somehow find a way to have a work life balance. You are clearly not in that camp. The fact that you wake up at odd hours, sleep when the world is awake and work when the world is sleeping has affected your marriage, personal life and your relationship with family.

    You write this blog coz you want to make yourself feel better about your past and present. It not just about penning your thoughts down.

    You should read all your posts in a chronological order and see if anything has changed in your life. I'm assuming the answer will be NO!

    There are two kinds of people in this world. One who comes out on top after a series of unfortunate things that have happened in their lives and the second rung of people are those who whine, write odes and blog about it.

    I might be sounding unsympathetic, rude and not caring but that is not true. I feel that this way, i hope, that the messages sinks in.

    I seriously hope that the "drastic" measures you are about to take in the next 30 days will change your life for the better coz in the past (if you read your blogs) you have said this time and again but without any results!

  2. @anon - thik hai..main yeh baat yaad rakhuga...whatever you have mentioned, i will take it on board. Quite curious, an unknown person is actually concerned about me. Who art thou indeed ? Email me ??